The Rantonteur

There are no spectators, only witnesses.

To stand before a painting and discover what it awakens within you - without instruction, without explanation, without permission - is perhaps the closest we come to experiencing art as it was always intended.

Rant-A-Chat The New Transmission from The Rantonteurettes Something loud, chaotic and gloriously unfiltered is crawling out of The Rantonteur's studio shadows. Introducing Rant-a-Chat - the new transmission from the Rantonteurettes, the whirlwind creative trio orbiting the strange and ever-expanding universe of The Rantonteur. (We refuse to use the word “podcast” - a bullshit made-up term spawned from a giant tech corporation’s branding and the breathtaking laziness of a jour

On 21st February 2026, the Lynton Academy of Dance, headed up by the marvellously talented choreographer Lynne Reucroft-Croome, held a live performance in front of an audience of over 600 at the Royal Hall, Harrogate. The performance was inspired by The Rantonteur's first catalogue of paintings, some of which were animated and projected onto the stage backdrop. The music, a haunting and at times deeply unsettling score, was composed by The Rantonteur and produced by Will Jack

An Interview... Recently The Rantonteur was asked to undertake a private commission. Despite a previous reluctance to produce commissioned pieces and the limitations that might bring, the story behind the portrait was so hauntingly compelling, that The Rantonteur agreed. The parameters were very clear, this would not be a carbon copy - words to the effect of "if you want that, blow up a photograph and stick that on your fucking wall" were uttered... Instead the indomitable ar

An ethereal place has released a presence, A 'Rantonteur'! Shall they concur?! As felt of a truth 'Who gives a Fuck, here comes the rant'! Ranter-Banter Ranter-Banter softens the decanter A steely eye of wistful sigh Smoke-filled inhalation preps the notation Announced with sped annunciation Readied Banter for a fueled Ranter Vistful flurry, Syllables scurry Eardrums vibrate Open the gate As Ranter-Banter seals your fate A quiver in the ramble Becomes a shiver in the bramble